1. Listen Actively
做一个积极的听众
When you listen, give them
your undivided attention and ask questions. Do NOT check your phone more than
once in a conversation – better yet, don’t check it at all! A study
by the University of Colorado found that active listening helps ******oid
misunderstandings and opens people up to get them to say more. Actively
listening will improve communication with those around you, whether you’re working with them or living with them. People tend to remember
good listeners as positive people.
当你是个听众时，一定要全神贯注，别忘了问点问题。不要在谈话过程中超过一次查看手机——最好的是，压根就不要看手机！科罗拉多大学的研究表明，做一名积极的听众可以避免误会，同时使说话人说得更多，增强你与周围人的联系，不管是同事或是室友。人们总是能会把好的听众看成积极正面的人。
2. Speak Clearly
语言表达清晰
Take your time and think
about each sentence. The more you speak with unnecessary filler, the less clear
you are. Especially when speaking to more than one person at once, or to a new
group of people, practice your approach beforehand. Am I saying everything I need
to say? Is everything I’m saying necessary? Is there a clear objective and purpose to what I
am saying?
花点时间想想你要说的每句话。你说的废话越多，语言表达就越不清晰。尤其是在和不止一个人或一群人对话时，一定要先练习一下你的说话技巧。我说的都面面俱到了吗？我说的都是有必要说的嘛？我说的这些话里有明确的主题思想吗？
3. Smile from Within
发自内心的微笑
A genuine smile from within
shows on the outside: you smile with your eyes and mouth. Not to say you h******e
to walk around with a grin all the time! But when you smile on the inside,
people are more receptive when you approach them. The women with a Duchenne
smile were more likely to be married and stay married than those who had a fake
smile, and were more likely to experience greater sense of personal well-being.
When you smile from the heart and follow up with a kind personality, you will
get more and give more to the world than you ever thought possible.
真正的微笑是从内到外散发出来的：你的眼睛和嘴都在笑。这不是说你要一直咧着嘴笑！而是当你微笑的时候，要发自内心，这样人们才更能接受你。相对于比起经常假笑的人，有着杜乡式真正微笑的女人更容易嫁出去，婚姻也可以保持更久，还更能体验到一种独属于自己的幸福。当你发自内心的微笑，你会向外界给予更多，同时也得到更多，这会完全超乎你的想象哦。
4. Stand Up Tall
站直点
Imagine there’s a string running
from your n******el, through your head and up into the ceiling. It’s an old dancer’s trick, and works for the
rest of us to maintain great posture throughout the day. Good posture makes you
appear secure and confident; if you’re not feeling that
confident today, fake it until you make it! Remember to keep your shoulders
down.
想象一下，从你的头沿着背部到天花板，一直有根棍子在支撑着。这是舞者训练的老方法，也可以帮助我们来纠正自己的站姿。好的站姿让你更加自信，如果今天感觉底气不足，那么就站直了直到你成功！当然千万不要耸肩哦。
5. Spread Praise & Phrase
不吝惜赞美
Ever hear “it’s not what you say, but how you say it?” If
you h******e to critique someone, before you do, think of how you would want to be
critiqued. Be direct and address the problem at hand, propose a solution, get
feedback and establish a timeframe. At the same time, give credit &
compliments where they are due. Building confidence in yourself is important,
but being able to build confidence in others – that’s charisma.
听没听过“你说什么不重要，重要的是你用什么方式说”这句话？所以当你批评什么人之前，想象你自己是否能接受这样的批评。你应该事先直接指出问题，提出解决方案，给予一定的回馈然后确定一个时间表。同时要不断给予他们信心和赞美。自信很重要，但是给予别人信心——这就是魅力所在了。
6. Remember Names
记住别人的名字
A legendarily successful
writer known as “Mr. Charisma” himself, once said that “a person’s name is to him or her the
sweetest and most important sound in any language.” It’s ****** but effective. When you first learn someone’s name, repeat it back to them by saying “Hi
Amanda” or “It’s a pleasure to meet you Amanda.” Also use
their name when you end the conversation, it’ll help
immensely. You can also visualize the person’s name on
their forehead, or associate that person’s name with a
facial feature, like “Joe’s
Eyebrows.” If all else fails, after meeting someone
new, type their name into your phone with a short descriptive word.
被称为“魅力先生”的传奇成功作家戴尔卡耐基曾说过：“无论在什么语言中，对于一个人来说，他的名字永远是最好听和最重要的。”
这个道理很简单，但也很有用。当你第一次知道别人的名字，就立即重复他们的名字给予反馈，比如说“你好，阿曼达”，或者“认识你真高兴，阿曼达。” 同时，在结束对话时也要提及对方的名字，这会帮大忙。你也可以用名字形容他们的长相或者他们的面部表情。比如
“乔的眉毛”。如果这都不管用，在认识新朋友之后，把他们的名字简写存进你的手机里。
7. Eye Contact
眼神交流
Make eye contact while a
person is talking to you, and while you are speaking to them. Eye contact is
one of the most important aspects of communication – it allows you to
really see if your message is getting through. It keeps the other person
focused on you, and keeps you focused on their words and meaning. If you’re ****** a presentation or speech, make eye contact once with as
many people in the room as possible. It will make the whole event feel much
more personal to your audience.
和别人和交流的时候别忘了眼神交流。眼神交流是交际里的重要部分——可以让你明确信息是否已经被传递。也让其他人把焦点集中在你身上，还可以让你去集中精力理解他们的话语和含义。如果你在准备一个演讲或讲演，尽量和室内的人进行眼神交流。这会让你的听众与你的距离拉近。
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